I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
