We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
did you just send me my own nude
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
