so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
