i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
