Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
