Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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