I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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