I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
