the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize