I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
