just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
