I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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