Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
