at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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