i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
