A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
