if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
