I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
