is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
