the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i out mim tonsoeep
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