Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
