dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
NoShamevember. You game?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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