I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
