your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
