what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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