Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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