my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
