i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
