i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
