My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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