No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We don't watch enough power rangers
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
