Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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