just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
