the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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