I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Found your dick twin last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize