I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
