Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
