im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you inspire me to be a worse person
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
