I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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