Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
