I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
