are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
How external is "for external use only"?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
