Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
