I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
