so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
