I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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