My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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