I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
