Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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