Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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