You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
