im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I fill condoms, not promises.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
