so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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