I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
