Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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