You can't special order awesome
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
COCAINE IS GR8
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
