He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize