I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
