You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm so fucking centered right now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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