You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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