WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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