just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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