Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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