it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
