Tell her she can't have a vagina
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize