u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
