I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize