Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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