like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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