she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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