Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
