yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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