ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
