youre lurking in front of me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
