it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
