I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am available for nakedness
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
