I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
